Intro – Discovering the Question

Two weeks ago I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly I was feeling. I kept assuming it was the obvious: the anxiety accompanying a big life change. Except here I am, in a new-yet-familiar city, my belongings unpacked onto designated spots in my apartment, with my if-I-dare-say perfect roommate. But that feeling has not dissipated.

It’s a bit of anxiousness, slight anticipation, and a dash of uncertainty. It’s not always present. It’s tucked away in a part of my mind that surfaces only when I find myself not particularly focused. When I visualize it, I see a question mark with an exclamation hiding shyly in the corner. As I lay in bed unable to sleep, I thought to myself, it’s hard to have the answer to a question you don’t know. But really, there is no pressing question. There is no major problem to solve, no life altering decision to be made. So, now what?

Yup, there it is. My question. Now What?

Well, I’m not quite sure. This is a question I’m not used to. So much ambiguity, so open-ended. Most of my past years have been filled with the need to plan and organize, leaving me unsure if I know how to go about life without doing so.

First, let me reflect on how I think I got here. I studied at Drexel University—no I’m not bragging, especially if you look at my monthly loan payment. But Drexel is different. (No really, that’s their motto.) Unlike other institutions, we attend college year-round, take fast-paced 10-week terms, and alternate between classes and working full time (which was usually in addition to a part-time job for me). Don’t forget time for sports, extracurricular activities, social life, and sleep. There was always something that needed doing. Decisions to make. Options to consider. Plans to plot. There was always something there and always something next.

As I prepared for graduation, my attention shifted to finding my first “real” job (because apparently everything else I had done up to that point was pretend). Luckily, I received an offer from a small startup.

I had a job. A job with no pre-determined end date. A job I needed to do well in. A job I needed to use to get to the next level of accomplishments. Yet after spending years of strategically plotting, suddenly I didn’t know if I belonged where I was.

Of course, I didn’t want to leave my job without a plan, so I came up with different scenarios for my next move. In the meantime, I met my boyfriend who inspired new questions. When I wasn’t obsessing over what I thought my career should be, I was obsessing over how to shrink the 3700 miles between us. Eventually, decisions were made to solve both of these problems.

Right now, my boyfriend and I are in the same city, I have a job I like, and the only decision that needs to be made is what to cook for dinner (since I finally have the time to cook). I can wake up and go about my day knowing I’m where I’m supposed to be.

I’m no longer surrounded by dozens of people asking “What’s your plan?” Instead I’ve found myself asking Now What? And I love not having an answer! So right now I’m going to start a blog because I like to write and share things and pretend other people care about what I have to say.

I’ve had several ideas of what my blog’s topic should be, but Now What? is going to be about the time between questions, accepting the present for what it is, and developing one’s self. There will be more tidbits of important information: self care, personal finances, goal setting, etc. If anything, this will be how I get through this questionless phase of my life (which may only be another week or so to be honest—but I’ll keep blogging).

9 thoughts on “Intro – Discovering the Question

  1. Can’t wait to hear the rest. I care and am very interested in your answers….. Love you to the moon and back!

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  2. Julia! This is fantastic! I always enjoy reading what you write, but to read about this amazing adventure, how blessed you are to be able to experience Paris I am so excited!! I wish you all the best there is in the world and please continue this blog!!!

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  3. Jules, you know I’m your biggest fan and how I thoroughly enjoy reading everything you write. If you wrote 10,000 pages I would never close my eyes until the last page was read. Don’t ever give up on writing, for I know this is where your true passion lies.
    ❤️❤️❤️

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  4. Julia, you made me smile as I was reading your blog. I’m glad that you are enjoying your new chapter – being with the one you love, having the job that you like, fulfilling your writing passion. I’m facing uncertainties at the moment but this blog reminds me that things will be okay. Looking forward to reading your next blogs and seeing you grow. Much love! ❤️

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  5. Hi Julia, I wish you all the best! I admire your courage and writing skills! Keep writing and I will keep reading, my passion in life! Your a phenomenal person! Enjoy!!!

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  6. Beautiful read…Live life, be present in each day and enjoy. No need to plan every aspect of it, just live. You’ll ask that question for years to come…. I look forward to following your updates😘

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  7. Julia,I’m so happy your going to write a blog, it will make me know your alright and happy in your new life. My prayers and good wishes are with you always, and I can’t wait to read your blog. My baby girl l Love you and miss you.

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  8. Jules,I enjoy reading everything u write…I can not wait for u to continue…..Miss u ..very proud of u…U have a good head on ur shoulders…Give Julien my love…..

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